The Nosiness Continues
by Persephone999
Summary: Sequel to 'Dear Nosey Parker'. Rated T for growing pains.
1. Chapter 1

Hello darlings! First off, thank you to anyone who enjoyed or left a review for Dear Nosey Parker for motivating me to start a sequel up. I hope you have as much fun reading as I do writing. Anyway, moving on.

Disclaimer: Rockstar owns canon. Lucky bleeders.

Chapter 1

15th September

Dear Nosey Parker,

_Diaries completed: 1_  
><em>Alcohol consumed by self: Approx half a glass(I don't know how anyone can drink vodka for pleasure)<em>  
><em>Alcohol consumed by mother: Apprx 52 glasses(drunk enough to believe she can sing)<em>

1am: Just when you thought you were rid of me, I became bored at a party and decided to allow you to invade my privacy again. It was this or being pinned down by my cousins and given a makeover. You win.

Miss me? I bet you did, you nosey little thing, you. I'd love to say I'd missed you but, to be frank, I have no proof that you exist, and I haven't got to the stage of insanity where I miss imaginary friends (although if Mum doesn't stop singing "Sex Bomb" downstairs, I might be soon).

Anyway, I best be off so that I can get a half-decent sleep.

3pm: Have just realised that the nosey parker reading this may not be the same nosey parker reading the last diary, in which case I probably ought to introduce myself.

In a nutshell, I am the mistress of the universe. I have an IQ over 9000 and a loving hareem who live to serve me. My face is the most beautiful thing to grace the earth and my smile can cure indigestion.

Moving on to the truth, my name is Gloria Joanne Br- Jackson and I currently at the ripe old age of thirteen. My birthday is the 2nd November if anyone wants to get me anything(hintety hint hint).

16th September

Dear NP,

_Things I need to buy for class:_  
><em>Art: Paintbrushes.<em>  
><em>English: 1 notebook and 1 bottle of scotch.<em>  
><em>Biology: 1 small, cute animal, and 1 machete.<em>  
><em>Chemistry: 3 crucifixes.<em>  
><em>Misc: School Uniform<em>

20th September

Dear NP,

_Hugs from Melody: Lots._  
><em>Time spent unpacking trunk: 10 minutes.<em>  
><em>Time spent unpacking Melody's trunk: 55 minutes(Why the devil does she need all those teddies?).<em>

7.30am: Back at Bullworth Academy. Dear Lord, it's not natural to be awake at this hour.

10am: Had a great catch up with Melody in English. Apparently Pedro and his mother

11am: Pedro just strode in wearing Aquaberry. This wouldn't be so worrying if he wasn't speaking with a faux English accent.

Sent an email out to everyone to see if they want to go out on the weekend. Should be fun if we can all make it down.

22nd September

Dear NP,

8am: Karen says she's going to see Edna's baby today.

10am: Pedro has started passing notes in purple prose. Dear God, what did they do to him?

12pm: No sign of Karen. Melody says she's in the sick bay and babbling deleriously. Something about Beezlbub. Dr. Watts isn't in today either.

In other news, Mr. Galloway's bottle of tea has went missing.

3pm: Still no Karen.

Went to see the baby. It turns out that Angie and Christy were right to knit extra sleeves.


	2. Baby Names

**Hello! I'm very sorry that this took so long, but unfortunately I had exams(which I have almost definitely failed). But I'm on study leave now, so I'm going to be updating a fair bit this month while I have nothing else to do. If anyone has any questions or wishes to suggest pairings then go ahead. I'm also sorry that this chapter is rather short.  
><strong>

**One another note, this chapter is dedicated to my brother(known on FanFiction as Tis Only A Flesh Wound) as it is his birthday today, so have a good sixthteenth, because in the immortal words of Edna, "Get used to it, kid, you're a man. It's all downhill from here.".**

**Disclaimer: To anyone who assumed the last disclaimer was a joke, I don't own Gloria or Bullworth or any of its residence. I do, however, own a deligtful leather jacket.**

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><p><span>Chapter 2: Baby Names<span>

23rd September

12pm: Karen is out of sick bay. She occasionally looks at Edna and shudders. Interestingly, Edna doesn't look any different now that she's not pregnant anymore. Pedro said there's still one in there. Melody said he was an idiot.

24th September

12pm: Turns out Pedro is not an idiot. There are now two bald, spotty babies(I use that word very loosely) in Edna's arms.

12.32pm: Ms. Phillips just stared at the "babies", blinked, stepped away as though they were going to explode, coughed, gulped and said "Well... Aren't they cute?"

No, Ms Phillips. No they are not.

4pm: Have just found out what Edna is naming the babies.

_Baby Names_

_Baby 1(Male): Bobert Rainforest Cheescake Watts_

_Baby 2(Female, spotty): Treverson Joe Slawter-Watts_

Why not just call them "Chewbacca" and "Kick me"?

7pm: Hang on... Slawter-Watts!

1am: Can't sleep. Why Slawter-Watts? Where does Dr. Slawter come into it? What happened?

25th September

10am: Don't ask me how, but I ended up having a bit of an incident in Chemistry and now I have detention. All I can say is that if teachers are stupid enough to give children magnesium, then it's there own fault. And as for the hole, the Biology room needs more light anyway.

12pm: Just saw Gord toss Jimmy a note across the canteen and there anyone left that boy hasn't played tonsil tennis with?

12.01pm: Just saw Jimmy wink back. Looking at Zoe's expression, I think she saw it too.

12.13pm: Zoe's just pounced on Gord. Pretty sure legs aren't meant to bend that way.

Pedro just leaned over to Melody, pulled a bit of her hair back and whispered "Five on Zoe". She says it doesn't work if everyone bets on the same person.

12.24pm: Mr. Luntz, if two students begin fighting, the correct reaction of a janitor is in fact not "Go for his nuts!"

12.30pm: Mrs. Peabody has managed to pull them apart. I wonder if she's mad because they nearly killed each other or because a boy and girl came into contact with each other.


	3. Chapter 3

I know this is quite short, but bear with me. Really busy today.

Disclaimer: Forget Bully 2. If Bully was mine, we'd be up to at least Bully 4 by now.

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><p><span>1st October<span>

Dear NP,

10 am: Apparently, we were going to be getting the homeless Vietnam gentleman from behind the bus for Gym class, but after his mysterious disappearance(and that of several of Neil's radio transistors, oddly enough), we are going to be getting a new teacher for Gym class as well as the teacher to replace Mr. Hattrick. Should either of them read this, I feel I should give them a little bit of advice: Run. For the love of cupcakes, run while you still can .

In other news, there's been an alien sighting in Bullworth Academy which was reported by one Christy Martin. Even for her, my dear nosey parkers, that is... tremendously stupid.

11am: Just met Mr. Hattrick's replacement; big glasses, big eyes, skinny, looks a bit like you could break her if you spoke to her in a nasty tone. I believe her name is Moira Clark. I give it five minutes.

3rd October

Dear NP,

1pm: A bully has just put a little box on Miss Clark's desk. The poor, unsuspecting girl is smiling at it. She thinks people like her.

1.01pm: Miss Clark's box just exploded. It's also quickly spreading a rather disgusting smell through the room which has caused several people to run out the room. I think the girl may be regretting her job soon.

4th October

Dear NP,

10am: Just met the other replacement teacher, Bethany Jones. This wouldn't be so worrying, but I walked in on her talking on her mobile: "Yes... It's on the sofa... Yeah... No, I'm fine...It was fun, actually... Of course I hid the body". She'll fit right in here.

5th October

Dear NP,

12.43pm: Agreed to babysit Chewbacca and Kick Me for Edna along with Const and Karen in two days. Apparently her and "Wattsie" have a "date". Karen just went to warn Dr. Watts that he's going to get kidnapped again. Miss Jones was just over cooing at the babies and how "cute" they are. Not totally sure if she was looking at the same babies as we were.

In other news, Pedro is apparently taking elocution lessons from one of the older boys(Gord, was it?) and is currently trying to blow a match out with the word "what".

12.59pm: Bumped into Const on the way to dinner. Had short conversation with him. Apparently he's moved on from Pinky(yay) but unfortunately he's interested in someone else equally oblivious. Damn it.

1.45pm: Pedro has dropped the match on his dinner tray. At least Edna's food isn't flammable.

1.46pm: Yes it is.

1.50pm: Jimmy Hopkins came over and chucked Beam Cola on the fiery slop. Apparently Beam Cola is flammable. ****

2pm: Fire is now out. Only casualty was Pedro's eyebrow. And Miss Clark's cardigan. Don't ask.


	4. Halloween Fundraising Part A

To anyone still reading this,

I am so sorry it took so long to update, but I got one of those "life" things everyone's always on about and that got a little bit in the way. However, the university year is over so you'll be stuck with me for another three months. Aren't you lucky?

Anyway, here's to hoping I can still write this, anyway. I'm just going to give this next chapter a try and see if all goes well.

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><p><span>Chapter 4: Halloween Fundraising<span>

6th October

**12pm:**

The phone's ringing.

**4.50pm:**

Word of the fire apparently got back to my mother, causing her to phone me. Thankfully I think I've just about managed to convince her that no, no one died, no, I don't want her to come and get me and yes, my old stab vest still fits. When I asked her how everything was she immediately explained that everything is fine but Aunt Doris has piles again, followed by several vivid descriptions. I'm never going to be able to eat grapes again.

7th October

**10am:**

I was awakened this morning by Hurricane Karen bouncing up and down on my bed babbling incoherently:

"Omigodomiigomigodalowininthreewikswihaphtogetcost u mesNOW!"

Which roughly translates into:

"I have woken you in this manner due to the revelation that Halloween is only three weeks away; consequently, we really ought to start thinking about costumes."

Having dragged me out of bed and slammed my glasses onto my face for me, Karen then threw a dog-eared notebook into my hands. Being the terrible catch that I am, the notebook missed my hands and landed on my feet which quickly woke me up and caused me to yell a very rude word I'd overheard from Bo.

"Gloria!" my friend screeched. "You can't say that word!"  
>"But-"<br>"Come on, we need to pick our costumes. Look, these are my ideas."

Having perused the notebook I noticed that Karen's designs were... decidedly Karen-esque. For example:

_Beam Cola Fairy_  
><em>Mrs. Peabody in Zombie Form<em>  
><em>Edna<em>  
><em>Hulk Edna(which is basically the above with green face paint)<em>  
><em>Beatrix the mad fairy meerkat princess scientist<em>  
><em>Soviet Super-vet cheerleader<em>  
><em>Crapula Maxima Fortisima complete with hinged mouth and stink bomb "pollen"<em>

"Room mate privilege means you get first pick," Karen grinned with big, blue eyes. "What do you want to be?"  
>"Karen? I don't mean to be rude, but- "<br>"I designed them all myself."  
>"Oh... Well, that's-"<br>"I've even sewn a few."  
>"That's very good, but-"<br>"Took me twelve weeks."  
>"I-"<br>"This is literally the first time I've left my room since July- I even swapped water for Beam Cola because who needs sleep anyway and now I can hear bubbles."

I chose the zombie.

7th October

**1pm:**

Just been having dinner at our usual table to discuss how to raise funds for Karen's halloween "spectacular", having each brought our piggy banks along. I have to admit I'm a little excited to see our grand total savings wise.

**1.10pm:**

Our grand savings consist of two dollar, fourty-three cents, three bottle tops and a cookie.

**1.15pm:**

Sheldon has just eaten the cookie. Our savings are dwindling fast. Then again, I suppose it's safer than Edna's cinammon and ketchup cookies. Having said that, Karen has apparently got some good ideas for raising our funds, which we will be discussing after photography.

Oh dear.

**3pm**

_Karen's Fundraising Ideas_

_Dog walking_  
><em>Babysitting for Edna<em>  
><em>Brewing our own Beam Cola<em>  
><em>Robbery<em>  
><em>Charging older students for errands and alibis<em>

Realising where this was going, I immediately volunteered for dog-walking. Hopefully, that's me safe.

9th October

**5pm**

Karen has allocated the others their jobs and my pleas worked. I will be dog-walking, which I had assumed would be the safest job. Until Pedro opened his big, elocution-attempting mouth.

"That's ideal, really. I was talking to Chad the other day, and apparently he needs a dog walker for Chester."  
>"You don't mean-"<br>"He says he paid the old one five dollars a time, but the person who was doing it quit after he bit her again. I'll let him know I've found someone."

Lord, I know I'm not a Christian, but if you could make me ill with something so that I don't have to walk that hell-hound I'll... All right, I haven't got that far, but it'll be something very good.

Please?


End file.
